Slab pizza and Breakfast with Amber

Slab pizza was great. It exceeded my expectations. I heard it was good, but I just assumed what I heard was due to the college student hype about something new. But no! The toppings and menu choices were actually ingenious and surprisingly tasty. Loved it!

My awesome sister and one of her crazy faces! Love that girl. Living with her is the best thing I have ever done!

Amber and Eric. I love trying new food and places with her. It's always an adventure.

Breakfast with my best friend the last couple of days has been so fun! I miss cooking with her.
One Eyed Jacks, Hash-browns, Tomatoes and Bacon. Yum!

P.S. Posting from my phone is EPIC!

Marvin J. Ashton

He may be one of my favorite of our church leaders. I stumbled upon this and needed to share it! Marvin J. Ashton always shares thoughts that are hopeful and happy! I love this talk. INSPIRATIONAL!

Piano Guys

These guys are awesome, are they not?!! I have fallen in love with the piano guys. Elyse and I are going to a concert Sept. 1st at Thanksgiving Point. It's gonna be epic! I'm super excited!!!

Hero

I spent a couple of hours with My Aunt Grace Last Wednesday. I got to go with her and help pick out tile for the back-splash (See photo!) that will be in her new kitchen. It was just lying there waiting for us. It was meant to be! I am super excited, can you tell. What do you think? It looks awesome huh?! I'm glad that she let me come with her. And in the future... (once it's all finished being remodeled of course!)...that she will let me cook in her amazing kitchen! I am in love with her extension, and am slightly envious of the epic pantry she's going to have! I hope they love it as much as I do! :) haha! It's nice that they decided on a remodel/extension instead of moving. Grace is my hero, and living so close to her has been a huge blessing for me as I have struggled to figure out certain things. I love her blunt honesty, advice and her love for me. I thank God for sending me to such an amazing family. It's nice having someone to talk to like an older sister, she may be the one to help me get it right one of these days!

Autumn's wedding cake

I guess I should have added this photo ages ago...or even taken some of my own...

Photo taken by Kristin Guell: http://kristinaileenphotography.blogspot.com/

Repentance and Forgiveness

I've been thinking a lot about where I am in my life, and how to get where I want to go. Really the help I need most, will always be learned from two of the gospel  principles that I'm still trying to get a grasp of. Figures!

...Repentance and forgiveness Repentance has always been a process of steps that I understood but honestly haven't really put into sincere practice. Yes I've been a missionary and I've taught and born testimony of this principle, but as I think of it now I haven't really truly and sincerely believed and applied it in my own life. I just took the whole thing kind of for granted.

I am striving to be a better person someone I can like and respect and I know that repentance is the key. Once I can get this thing figured out inside and out, I feel that I will be that much closer to the destination I have in mind. I am also realizing more and more that it's just  something I cannot do, or want to do alone. I need the help and love of others.

Thinking about all of this made me think of a conversation I had the other day with one of my co-workers. In the conversation the subject of forgiveness was brought up. He told me that before he felt like he could be married he needed to forgive himself for things in the past, the way he treated and thought of others, and himself. He told me that maybe there is something or somebody that I need to forgive as well. Now this conversation made such an impact on me that I had to think again hard about this other principle that I thought I understood, that of  forgiveness. I have been holding onto some hurt from a couple of years ago...and I haven't even been truly conscience of how tightly I was holding onto that pain and hurt...like I could protect myself, and somehow feel better by keeping it close. This conversation I had has made me think, and is helping me realize that I'm really just hurting myself more because I have refused to acknowledge and forgive all that has happened that hurt me. I have such a long way to go...mostly cuz I realized I didn't even want to forgive, and that won't get me anywhere! I know I need to, and that a change of heart is in order, but with some repenting I think I will find the strength in me (somewhere) to forgive. I know that this path I have chosen is at times rough and filled with pain but I am learning and hopefully becoming that person I plan and want to be.

I read a quote in a talk that has helped me. As I turn my life in the direction God wants me to go I may feel alone and forsaken, And have moments that are not quite 'on', but I have a support system in place that lifts me up and can help me repent and forgive even when at times I don't even have a desire to do so.

Here is one of the quotes:
"In the anguishing process of repentance, (or forgiveness) we may sometimes feel God has deserted us. The reality is that our behavior has isolated us from Him. Thus, while we are turning away from evil but have not yet turned fully to God, we are especially vulnerable. Yet we must not give up, but, instead, reach out to God’s awaiting arm of mercy, which is outstretched “all the day long.

Genuine support and love from others—not isolation—are needed to sustain this painful forsaking and turning (or forgiving )."

I am grateful that even as I feel that I have left the path marked for me, I have a loving Heavenly Father who will inspire others to say something or act in a way that offers me another chance to make a course correction. He is always there for me, and has sent others to my aid when I needed it the most. Even through casual conversation if I'm willing to look for it and pay heed to the spirit that helps me realize there may be something more in those words especially for me.

We are blessed.

Timez a flyen...

I'm not even going say how long it's been since I posted last... That just happens with me.

My sister Autumn is engaged. How do I feel about that?! No, don't be worried, I'm thrilled for her actually. I can see how absolutely and completely happy she is. I feel like she has found the perfect guy for her. It really does seem that when you stop focusing on what isn't yours or what isn't happening in your life, and just live life the best you know how, that is when God blesses you with everything you could desire. At least that is what happened to Autumn. It makes me happy to see her so radiant. I know that together they will grow and be just who the other needs, to bring them to the Celestial kingdom, and their own happily ever after.

Of course part of me wonders when it will be my turn to experience all of that joy. But upon reflection I know that I'm not ready yet. I'm not the person I want to be, or want my future spouse to end up with. I am learning. EVERYDAY! I'm closer than I was even two years ago, and I NOW know who that person is...who I am going to be, I even know it's achievable! :D I'm grateful for the struggles I've had in figuring this all out, for the silent as well as the loud and obnoxious.

In case you didn't know I live with the best roommate ever, my sister Elyse. I know that there were some doubters out there who didn't think we could live together... but really where's the faith?!!! Elyse and I are having a blast. This whole thing thus far has been really good for each of us. I love that I'm not alone, that there is someone that loves me at home. I'm not a loner, never have been, and most definitely never will be. I need people. Being around people helps me thrive, especially when I know they love me! I love that we don't even have to do anything special, it's just having another body in the room that's what helps. I love people!

So I moved back to Provo in September and I must admit being back in Provo has been an interesting change. I missed parts of it that's for sure...but others NOT at all. For example the crazy student population that has taken over the town... didn't miss that. What I did miss was being so close to my family, especially the Rex clan. For that reason alone I'm glad I'm back. This is where God has led me to be. I can't doubt that. Things are going to happen.

My new job is spectacular, and I feel incredibly appreciated. I work crazy-like, but now that the holidays are over and my best friend is coming and visiting from Maryland I will have a break, of some sort.... hopefully! haha! I've been apprehensive about seeing her again I have to admit... Long distance relationships are hard for me, and honestly, if it weren't for her calling me every week, I wouldn't have put much faith in there being any relationship at all. I hope that the trip is good for both of us. I Love her so much. Our lives have just been on completely separate and different paths, I hope we can reconnect!

Well as few words as this has been, this is my life right now in a nut-shell. Working up a storm and spending time with family. I have been entertaining the idea of taking a tae-kwon-do class... something completely new, but that will stretch me in several different aspects, mentally and physically. I think it's time I do something for me. I need to start taking care of myself and I think something like this is a good start. It's ME time!!